In Praise of Squanto...

 

    November in Southeast Asia is hot and wet. There are no changing colors on the trees and no crisp nip to the air. Sighing, I would stubbornly pull out my drawer of fake leaves and the pine cones that had traveled with me halfway across the world. I turned up the aircon and tried not to long for a traditional North American Thanksgiving celebration.

In our third year in the Philippines, we decided to invite local friends to have Thanksgiving dinner with us. They’d heard of Thanksgiving, a celebration of the survival of one of the first English settlements in the U.S., but they didn’t know much about it.  No problem. I was overly eager to share. I scraped together recipe staples from expat friendly grocery stores and begged visitors to bring me cream of mushroom soup in their luggage.

After dinner, I downloaded Squanto and the Miracle of Thanksgiving by Eric Metaxas onto our Kindle app. We sat in our living room, and I read it to our friends. Watching their interested faces, I heard this familiar story in a different way for the first time in many years.

Eric Metaxas spotlights Squanto the American Indian in the Pilgrim tale, and he gives details about his life that I hadn’t thought enough about before. 12-year-old Squanto was kidnapped by Spanish sailors in 1608. They took him from Massachusetts to Spain and placed him on an auction block to be sold as a slave. Spanish monks bought his freedom instead. They taught him about God and tried to help him return to his home. After 5 years, they sent him to England because it would be easier to find a ship back to North America from there. Another 5 years went by in England, but while he waited for a ship, he lived with an English family who was kind to him, taught him English, and helped him look for an opportunity to return to Massachusetts.

By the time Squanto saw his own familiar shoreline again,10 years had passed. I can imagine his longing to embrace family and friends, but when he arrived at his village, no one was there. A plague had decimated the tribe. He was the only one to survive. Lonely and sad, he lived with another Indian tribe and tried to make sense of his loss.

One day, he was told that English families were living on the site of his old village. He went to meet them. Like him, they had experienced much death and sorrow. Nearly half of the Pilgrim settlers had died the previous winter. Grateful to be able to communicate with him in English, they asked Squanto if he would help them learn what they needed to know to survive. He could’ve said no, but he didn’t. Squanto chose to teach them, and it was his decision to do so that made all the difference. They thanked God for sending Squanto and saw his arrival as one of God’s greatest blessings to them.

When our family moved overseas, I was overwhelmed and worried that I would never find a way to fit into the culture of the Philippines. I read books, and I tried to learn a little Tagalog. That definitely wasn’t enough to find my place in a new land. I felt deeply how much I didn’t understand, and it was a lot. Though I didn’t know what to ask for, God sent it. He sent help in the form of Filipino friends who took an interest in my family and taught us how to thrive in their country. I can see them all now in my mind’s eye, having Bible study and chats on homeschool class days with us, taking us to the local markets and encouraging us to try different foods, riding with us on church retreats and explaining what we’d see out the windows, translating signs and videos for us. 

These were our Squantos. I thank God for them. I recognize and honor them for their care for people that they didn’t have to befriend or help. And I ask you, Expat or Immigrant... who have been the Squantos in your life? How can you thank them today for giving to you in a thousand big and small ways that have meant so much? You were lonely and afraid that you wouldn’t be able to thrive in a new land. You wouldn’t have without them.

We have returned to live again in the U.S. this year, and we’re in the rocky process of repatriating. We’ll have our turkey and stuffing this year with a side of real autumn leaves, but I long for the faces of friends that we have left behind. 

  I’m also realizing that it’s my turn. I am in my home culture again, and around me are people who are not in theirs. They’re just like I was overseas, feeling out of place and wondering if they’ll fit in and be welcomed. It’s my turn to be a Squanto. It’s my turn to pay attention, reach out, and be a blessing.

Happy Thanksgiving to us all. And if you are so fortunate, hug your Squantos.

On Lockdown in Metro Manila....

Like all who are currently living through the Coronavirus Pandemic of 2020, I'm assuming that I'll look back on these days with a little bit of awe at how crazy it all was. But right now, I've only got the perspective of living it.

We're doing just fine, but we have an underlying low level of stress from a situation that keeps changing every day. We're just all waiting for the next restriction. First it was reductions in workforce and encouragement to telework and all the schools closing. Then it quickly changed to all the parks being closed. And finally, as of last night, we are all required to stay in our houses except to get groceries. Public transportation has been suspended. The staff that run the building where we live may be sleeping in the empty driver's lounges (though I hope not.)

It has felt like the net has been getting tighter and tighter. "Please stay home." "Ok, not enough of you are staying home. We'll close some more things. We really mean it. No going to the mall." "Ok, I know we said that we weren't going to go to a lockdown, but too many of you guys went out, so now we're going to make you stay at home. If you come out now without a good reason, the authorities can chase you back in."

I think the hardest thing right now is knowing that friends and family in the U.S. can still go to parks and walking trails. They can be out in their yards. They can drive places in their cars, as long as they're not going anywhere crowded.

I, on the other hand, live in one of the most crowded cities in the world. There really aren't many places without people. We have already self restricted for most of our time here because Manila traffic is so bad that it's just easier to stay within a small radius where you can usually walk.

This is going to continue for at least a month, and it may feel like the longest month of our lives. I'm hoping that we can still get outside in the landscaped area behind our building, but I'm trying not to count on it.

In a conscious attempt to reject panic buying, I have only been shopping once a week. I was able to get most of what we would need for this week from my local grocery store, but the line looked like this. I did pretty well because I was only standing in line for an hour. I've heard that it's gotten much worse in only a day.

Anyway, the store was crowded, and I was pretty stressed. The cashier told me that they'd run out of bags, and she asked me if I'd like a box. A box? Ok, paki po. Kuya came rushing up, expertly built a box, and then he started packing it. My rice and other heavy items went on the bottom. Nothing was crushed. He closed it and tied it up thoroughly with heavy twine. Then he heaved it up and put it in the cart and pushed it out to my car. I've been impressed with Filipino baggers for years. They really know their stuff, but this was next level.

It occurred to me that that my shopping experience yesterday probably encapsulates why I'm not that worried about staying here through the next month. Yes, this country feels chaotic right now, but I know that the average Filipino is working hard and creatively to make sure that we have what we really need. People know how to work hard and to think about the community. They work together to come up with creative solutions in less than ideal circumstances, and they've been doing it for years. They're proud of doing their jobs well and with a smile. And honestly, the smile is such an important part of it in these tense times.

Vacationing a bit more like a local...

It's been almost 3 years since we moved to the Philippines. The passage of time hits home to me more when we return to places that we've been before... and experience them differently because we are different.

I've vacationed on beautiful Borocay's beaches 3 times, and I've stayed at the same hotel in Station 3 every time. The first time was when I had only lived here a few months, and I took my friend, Sarah, with me. I was new to living outside of my western comfort zone, and I was a bit skittish. We didn't stray very far from the hotel.

The second time was last fall when we came with friends who are long term residents of the Philippines. They showed us their favorite haunts, and we knew a lot more about living the Filipino life, so we were far more relaxed. We know what cardineras and sari sari stores are now, and we know how to buy from them. Walking down a narrow street off the beach in the beach led to a great story about Ben losing an apple as it rolled down the hill in the dark and a random person handing it back to him after he thought it was long gone.

There's a long street that leads from the main road in Borocay down to the beach at Angol Point. It's full of regular Filipino life. There are guys resting after piling long, narrow rods of metal for a house that's under construction. Local kids walk by laughing in groups, coming down to the beach, still wearing their school uniforms. The sari sari stores sell tiny lemon Fantas that we can't get in Manila, and the farther you get from the beach, the cheaper they are. People drive by on motorcycles, and you'd better move to the side if you don't want to get run over. Local dogs sit in the shade, waiting for you to drop your banana cue.

And speaking of banana cue, I decided to buy some from a cardinera for the first time. I couldn't resist. We could smell him frying it in oil as we walked down the sandy road late in the afternoon, looking for mangos to buy by the kilo.

"How much, kuya?" "20 pesos, ma'am." "One please, po."

Heaven on a stick, mga kaibigan. Fresh banana cue is addictive. We came back more than once for that sweet, carmelized sugar on a saba banana.

Not far from the banana cue stand was a fruit vendor. She called Ben "handsome", and we knew he could get his sliced mango every day because she'd be there. David had her make him a mango shake with condensed milk, no added sugar, because you can do that at fruit stands here. We know this now.

David and the boys would walk to Starbucks in the mornings far down the beach before I was up and going. One day, they decided to take a pedal trike. The pedal trike kuya said they could all ride, but he'd need to put down a piece of cardboard in the luggage rack to hold Evan. So he did. We also know this is totally normal, and Evan loved his special seat. He told them about Borocay and pointed out the sights. He has 6 kids, and this is his regular job. He rents the trike daily from someone else, and he needs to get enough fares to pay the rent and then have some left over.

For the most part, if you're in a local part of town, you'll pay the same rates as the locals for typical things like fruit and snacks, and we appreciate that. All bets are off on the beach, though. I think they assume that foreigners don't know the exchange rate. I asked a guy selling little pen lights how much he was charging. "800 pesos." I laughed and said, "I live here." Nope. I'm not paying $18 U.S. for a pen light toy. I'm proud that I know enough to know when a vendor is trying to overcharge me... and that most locals aren't.

When we walked away from our hotel, I knew that this was the last time we'd probably ever see it. It was the last time I'd see the pink dressed reception ates who noticed that Ben had cut his toe somehow and got out the betadine to clean it up. It was the last time I'd see the waiters who praised my kids' drawings and laughed when they got together to try and pull apart an oar that wouldn't come unstuck. We are known and appreciated because we've become sukis (regular customers), and I'm going to miss that.

We are using this time in our lives as a precious chance to travel, and we are traveling all over Asia, but there is something special about traveling in a country that you understand better because of the hard won knowledge you've gained by learning to call it home. Mahal kita, Philippines.

Morning Time in Manila

Hi, friends! I have been so fortunate to be able to have my kids in homeschooling classes here in Manila. The time sitting and talking to other homeschooling moms while our kids dance or paint has become so precious to me.

I am a U.S. based homeschooler, and that means that I follow the homeschooling law of my state. For me, that mainly means that my kids take a standardized test once a year. My Filipino friends, however, are usually using a homeschool provider that gives them curriculum and deadlines to follow. From what I can tell from talking to them, it seems like most of their homeschooling takes place at a table with open workbooks, pencils, and pens. We spend a lot of time at the table as well, but I can tell you that most of the magic and connection in our homeschool doesn't happen there. It happens during Morning Time.

The beauty of Morning Time is found in its simplicity and flexibility. It can take place in the sala on the couch, at the table during breakfast or merienda, or even snuggled up in bed. You can spend as much or as little time as fits into your schedule. Morning Time doesn't even need to happen in the morning. :) All you need to get started is a box.

You have your box or basket. Now you have to ask yourself this: "What do I want to share with my children?" Maybe there are things that you only got to cover lightly in your child's curriculum, and you'd like to dig deeper. Maybe you've got a book you'd love to read aloud. Maybe you'd really like them to memorize the regions of the Philippines or a poem or two. Maybe there are a few Bible verses that you'd like them to hide in their hearts.

Here are some things that I've put in my box. My box doesn't hold all of them at one time. I switch out what is in there every few weeks or so to keep things fresh.

A devotional for kids is always there. We also like to read silly or serious poems together. I have taught a Filipino flower or bird or tree from time to time. To do this, I have them copy it using colored pencils, and then we might look up a video about it if it's an animal on Youtube to see it move. I might have a biography for us to read a chapter at a time. We play learning games occasionally. I have them find countries or states on a map that I pull out. There's no limit to what you can do. The key is to make it personal to your family and your priorities for learning.

There are things that I'd like my children to memorize, and I type them up individually and put them in a binder. They range from Bible verses to the continents of the earth to the dates of different wars. All you need for this is some sort of folder and your items to memorize.

Let's say you have a real love of Ancient History, and you want them to learn more about Ancient Egypt. Pull out a book on that, and glance quickly through it for important names. Write them on a whiteboard, and prop it up while you read. Ask your kids to raise their hands when they hear you read that word or name. This will help keep their attention. After you're done, talk about what you read. "Why do you think he did that? Was Alexander the Great really great? Why or why not?" In discussing this, you're getting a window into the hearts and minds of your kids and seeing how they think. It's a fantastic way to connect with each other in your homeschool.

I know that it may feel like adding one more thing to your homeschooling day is too much. But sometimes, adding in the right extra thing can breathe new life into your homeschool and help you remember why you started homeschooling in the first place.

And all you need is a box. :)

Good things...

Flowers just because he happened to be at the mall and thought of me.

I'm a Modern Mrs. Darcy reader, and she reminded me today that we should occasionally share the answer to this question: "What's saving your life right now?"

January felt long, and I'm hoping that February feels shorter. I've gotten into a good rhythm lately, and I was thinking about what's been helping me for the past week or two so I'm not stumbling through this season.

1. Getting outside- February is the best time to get outside in Manila. It's the coolest that it ever is, so it's time to do that hike that you've been putting off. Evan's Scout troop went on a hike at the La Mesa Reserve, and I was so dreading it. I was sure that it was going to be hot and buggy, and that I wouldn't have brought enough water. We started out early, and our little group hiked 10 kilometers.... and it was AWESOME! Shade, a slight breeze, and no bugs to be found made the experience. It reminded me that this was the time of year last year that we'd walk over to the American Cemetery late in the afternoons on Sundays to get in a walk under the trees, so that's going on the regular rotation again soon.

2. A little light exercise in the afternoon- I struggle to work out if I feel like it's going to be sweaty and tiring experience, but if I think of it as a way to get some movement and energy into my day after a morning of mostly sitting and homeschooling, that works for me. I have a little time to myself reading, and then put on my workout clothes, plug my headphones into my phone, and bring up a mindless show on Netflix while I spend some time on the elliptical in our building gym and do 3 reps of 10 each on arms and legs on the machines. I spend about 40 minutes on this routine while my boys are having their daily screen time, and I don't work out so hard that I need a shower after. It gives me a little more energy while I'm making dinner.

3. An hour for coffee with a friend- I'm with my boys a lot, and I love homeschooling, but taking an hour a week out of my job to catch up with a friend at my local Starbucks really refreshes me when I'm dragging and need some adult perspective. One of the biggest blessings of living where I do is that it isn't that hard to meet up with friends that live near me if we can both time it right. I also get some time to talk with the other homeschooling moms while our kids are taking classes on Tuesdays, and that time has become precious to us all.

4. Sharing a show with my honey before bed- Right now, it's the Big Bang Theory on Netflix. Neither of us ever saw it when it was on network TV, and it's really nice to laugh together over the creatively nerdy hilarity that the crew in Pasadena are always serving up. David and I talk about whatever the day brings first, and then we watch together before turning in.

5. Making a family favorite dinner at least once a week.- If I make brinner (breakfast for dinner), I always get hugs from multiple boys, and they seem to linger a little longer at the table. I'm tired of the usual grumbling that I get from at least one boy about my meal planning choices, so I have to plan a grand slam out of the ballpark for myself to offset this every once in awhile. :)

What little things are saving your life right now?

A masked life...

It's the beginning of a new month, and lemme tell ya, January was kinda tense. I texted a friend the other day that I felt trapped between an unstable volcano and a looming Asian superbug. Here in Manila, we've gone from wearing face masks to protect us from Taal Volcano ashfall to wearing them to protect us from the Wuhan coronavirus, and there really wasn't much of a break in between. 

I woke up on Thursday morning of last week to a text from Seth's school. They'd decided to postpone the annual Chinese New Year performance due to concerns about gathering in large groups indoors. I was so disappointed, and honestly, I was also pretty angry. At that point in time, there had been 0 confirmed cases of cornonavirus in the Philippines. (At this point, it looks like there have been 2 confirmed cases in the Philippines, and the president just shut down the entry of non-residents coming here from China.) The school has decided to postpone all February activities at the school until... who knows when? And I'm still angry because it feels like overkill to me, and that overkill has resulted in hardworking students and teachers not being able to present the program they've worked on for months. I was really looking forward to seeing Seth deliver his first Chinese line. 

I walk the streets of our area, and many people are wearing masks. We were asked to wear masks to our homeschool classes last week and to stay home if anyone was showing any cold symptoms. We took our kids to see a movie on Saturday, and we were just about the only people in the theater. I went to the warehouse grocery store, and it was the emptiest I've ever seen it on a Monday afternoon.

What I honestly want to be delivered from right now is the FEAR of the coronavirus. 

I believe in being prepared. We have a Go Bag at the ready in case of earthquakes. My pantry is stocked. I like my to do lists, and I like having a plan. It's not like I'm a "devil may care" lady over here. 

But at this point, I just don't see a rational reason for all the anxiety I'm seeing around me based on 2 cases of coronavirus in the entire country. I'm frustrated because the nervousness around me affects  daily life here in Manila. 

I recently read a really fascinating autobiography of the London Blitz in WWII called "A Chelsea Concerto" by Francis Favell. She was a volunteer in Chelsea during the war, and she saw and endured horrors that I hope to never experience, including the bombing of her own home while she was in it. What stuck with me, though, was how important British calmness in the midst of the bombing truly was to morale and winning the war. Those poster reprints that say "Keep Calm and Carry On" mean more than you realize. They were truly the way the British lived. It wasn't an empty slogan. They couldn't escape the bombs, and once they realized that, they just continued on with regular life in the midst of them. They went to work, to the shops, out to dinner, knowing that they might hear an air raid siren at any moment. Many stopped sleeping in the air raid shelters at night because they were also being hit, and they decided they'd rather get some sleep and die in their beds. Their refusal to stop daily life because of the Blitz was an encouragement to them all, and morale matters in winning a war.

So I think of them, and corona virus fear feels even more insignificant. Yes, I know that people will say, "It's not the same thing! We have to do what we can against global pandemic!" To which I say, "The important things are already being done. More people died from the flu last year in the U.S. than have died from corona virus. The numbers of cases HERE doesn't justify everyone wearing face masks HERE and refusing to go out." I'm going out to malls and the movies, and I'm not planning to wear a face mask. You can just call it me channeling a British stiff upper lip. :)

Nusa Dua, Bali with Evan and Ben

When your hubby tells you that he's teaching at a conference in Bali at a nice resort, you say, "We're finding a way to go along." Right? Right. I usually do a lot of research before we head off on a trip, but we'd been to Bali before, so I remembered that it was incredibly tourist friendly and English speaking, and I chillaxed. It was so nice to do that. 

I'm pretty sure that all flights to Bali from the Philippines are night flights. The cheapo airlines ask you for $1 if you want a bottle of water, so I had worked up a thirst by the time we landed. I stared groggily at the unfamiliar water options at the convenience store in the airport while the traveler's SIM card hawkers wearing traditional Balinese dress talked to the boys about Pokemon. We dragged ourselves through customs and found the guy with the "Grand Hyatt" sign in the line up of many Balinese men holding signs. The last time we came to Bali, we stayed at a $35 a night guest house on the back side of a family's traditional compound in Ubud. It looked like this was going to be a less personal and more manicured experience. 

We ooohed and ahhed at the aisle of lighted umbrellas at check in. And when we opened our windows the next morning, it only got better. It's awfully nice that places that host conferences sometimes have other fun amenities. 

We ate a buffet breakfast every morning sitting and looking at the water. There was no rice to be found, and that was ok with us. It was very Western food which was a nice treat. :) We discovered that January is Aussie vacation season in Bali. Their kids are on summer break, so the food follows Aussie standards more. The boys were so excited about ordering hot chocolate or decaf coffee every day.

The first day that we were there was David's only free day with us before the conference started, so we rallied from the late night and dragged ourselves out to see the sights. We hired a driver for the day, and he took us to Bali Bird Park first. You could put your fingers out to these birds sitting on branches, and they would bite them so hard it hurt, and you'd yell and pull your hand away. The boys did it over and over. So fun.

Our next stop was the Bali Night Safari. They take you on a short walking tour of the nocturnal animals that are beginning to wake up, and then you get a buffet dinner overlooking the elephant enclosure. There were even baked potatoes! (I know, I know, but I've NEVER seen baked potatoes on a buffet in Asia. Never.) Then they put ya in a rolling cage, and you get THIS CLOSE to lions and tigers that they are feeding little bits of chicken. We could feed the herbivores carrots. But who cares cause... tigers on the roof above you!

And then David's daytime stint with us was over, and it was time for me to sit by this gorgeous, man-made river and water slide all morning long for a couple of days. They went up and down over and over, borrowed floats from parents who had known to bring them (not me, obviously), and we had lunch by the pool every day. I ordered pizza and fries and Cokes from smiling men, and they brought them to me! It was blissful. I loved watching the boys get exercise outdoors in clean, fresh air, since honestly, that's one of the biggest things lacking in our everyday life in Manila.

Speaking of a lack of fresh, clean air, I was highly distracted during the Night Safari because the little volcano 100 km from Manila had decided that it was time to erupt for the first time since 1977, and all my well laid plans for managing Seth (still in Manila because he didn't want to skip school) were rapidly going to heck in a handbasket. We got him safely to his best friend's house where he stayed while ashfall covered Manila, rendering his school, the reason he'd stayed behind, closed for the entire time we were gone. I spent some time trying to find face masks in Bali pharmacies, and I resolutely prayed not to worry that the Manila airport would remain closed. With regret at our need to fly back towards an active volcano, the boys and I headed out on a slightly delayed flight on Wednesday night. But hey, I made it back to Seth as planned before he started missing us too badly. :)
Sometimes my life makes me laugh in disbelief. "Really, Ellen, you left your son in the Philippines, and then a volcano erupted with no warning, and you were in Indonesia?" "Yup, that about sums it up."

David stayed to finish out his work week, and then he left the gorgeous hotel (sob!) and found a cheap place in Ubud for the night before taking a night hike through the jungle so he could get this picture at sunrise on top of a mountain. 'Cause we're so Instagram perfect like that. (So not, but many Asian tour guides know all the tips and tricks for taking pictures of you from multiples angles that make you look all cool and Instagrammy and whatnot.) And then he flew back to the bosom of his loving family and we all reunited and checked the daily volcano reports to see if anything else was going to happen, and that is what we're doing to the day of this writing. Let's all hope it dies down, shall we?

Oh, and I love Bali. Can I go back? I need more gorgeous Balinese sarongs and floaty pants, and I keep daydreaming about smiling men that bring me pizza while I'm making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and teaching division.